Now, I really do believe in the importance of taking care of oneself so that you can better take care of others. But it is so very hard for me to put that into practice. There are seminars on 'Caring for the Caregiver' and countless websites. This quote is from the Family Caregiver Alliance, the National Center on Caregivers Fact Sheet, 'Taking care of YOU: Self Care for Family Caregivers" (www.caregiver.org)
"On an airplane, an oxygen mask descends in front of you. What do you do? As we all know, the first rule is to put on your own oxygen mask before you assist anyone else. Only when we first help ourselves can we effectively help others. Caring for yourself is one of the most important—and one of the most often forgotten—things you can do as a caregiver. When your needs are taken care of, the person you care for will benefit, too."
I think that carving time out for oneself is difficult. But much, much needed. My me time today consisted of coloring my hair. Never underestimate what a great haircut or color can do for your mental well being. :) And if you sing the 'I'm gonna' wash that gray right out of my hair' song while rinsing out the color, well... that's just fun. Smiling just to smile. Smiling's my favorite. :) Laughing. Laughing is good too. The really deep belly kind of laugh. The kind that makes you short of breath; the kind that makes you almost have to pee. The kind of laugh... like when you get a baby to laugh. And laugh. And laugh. Baby laughs are the BEST!
The second thing that I did on my me day was have lunch with some wonderful girlfriends. I love great food and great conversations. I especially love great food and great conversations when the only person I have to worry about behaving at the table is me. I don't have to ask for the check as soon as I get my food so that I can make a mad dash for the door when meltdowns commence. I don't have to eat quickly or cut up anyone else's meal. I don't have to worry about whether someone else has to pee, only me. I don't have to make sure mac and cheese is on the menu. I just have to relax. Relax. Relax. Breathe. Talk slower. Don't rush. Don't stress. I actually find myself repeating that in my head sometimes. Because it's not natural to me. It's unnatural to be carefree anymore. I'm a mom. I always worry, I always rush. But it was so nice today to slowwwww down. I enjoyed conversation. I enjoyed a hot sandwich. I enjoyed talking about nothing, I enjoyed talking about everything. I find it hard to allow myself to enjoy anything just for me. But today, I enjoyed my medium dark brown hair color, a turkey panini with raspberry sauce, and wonderful conversation.
You know what else I enjoyed? I enjoyed an extraordinary day filled with ordinary things. By making the ordinary extraordinary - I cared for myself. And in turn, I cared for my children and my husband. Because I recharged my battery, I was better able to pick up signals and transmit love. When you take a step back from the stress of living, you live. Geeze, I feel like I could make one-liner cliches all night. :)
The other day a friend of mine asked for some advice on things you do to lift your spirits if you are feeling down. It made me start to think, and I put together a list of some of my favorite things to do to recharge my battery. Just making this list should be on my list. Try it, see what you come up with! Here's mine:
1. Make some hot cocoa for YOURSELF- not the kiddos, spray it with the spray on whipped cream, take a big gulp, and don't wipe your mouth off. :)
2. Look at some of your wedding pictures or an old, old, picture of you and your husband together. (Well, not too old! I'm not THAT old yet!)
3. Play 'Simon' (I have the free app on my phone).
4. Glitter something. That always makes me happy.
5. Watch a scene from a favorite movie that makes you smile... for me, I like Forgetting Sarah Marshall... if you've seen it, it's the part when he sings his Dracula song in a bar. If you haven't seen it, watch it. :)
6. Listen to fun songs and sing very loudly and off key (I like - My Sharona, Come on Eileen, or Brickhouse.)
7. If you are lucky enough to have your parents or grandparents on this earth with you, call one of them just to say I love you.
8. And, finally, say a prayer.
P.S. Remember yesterday when I said I didn't think anyone would remember the time I spent with them last night? Well, the first thing that Joey said to me this morning was, 'I really liked playing Tribond with you mom.' And then, after school, he said it again. 'I really liked playing Tribond with you mom.' And Ally came bounding down the stairs this morning, 'Let's read another Dr. Seuss book tonight mom. I like taking turns rhyming with you.' And Vicki. Sweet Vicki. We made time today to make some Easter Bunny cupcakes. Taking the time to allow Vicki to fill each of the 24 muffin tins, yes it would be much faster and much less messy to do it myself. (And so often I have to stop myself from doing it myself because it's easier... Guilty!) But, watching the excitement and pride in Vicki's face as I put the cupcakes she created in the oven... oh yeah, it's worth it! Children do know. Children do appreciate.
Thank goodness for the gift of each new day. No matter how difficult of a day you've had, the miracle is that, if we are lucky, we get to wake up and try it again. Every morning we get to see a new sunrise. It's our choice whether we squeeze our eyes shut to block out the light, or if we embrace it, take a picture of it, and soak up the warmth of it.
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