I've been so tired lately...
How tired are you?
So tired.... that when I went to write in Vicki's potty book a half an hour after I got her ready for school, I couldn't remember if she had peed or not.. Half an hour... and I honestly couldn't remember. Wow. So I threw in the towel early last night, I didn't want to have another day stressing over if Vicki had peed or not. I kept thinking she was going to have an accident all day long. And just an FYI... in case you didn't know... when a 10 year old child doesn't pee for a long time and then has an accident, it usually requires a new pair of tennis shoes.
Vicki has a potty book. She's had a potty book for as long as I can remember. It sits on our kitchen counter everyday. It goes to school in Vicki's backpack. I started her potty book way back when we started potty training her... and that's been going on for years. Because Vicki doesn't tell us when and if she goes to the bathroom, the potty book was a way to remember and communicate with everyone who works with Vicki on a daily basis. That way we can be more alert for the potty dance if we know she hasn't gone... It's also a great way to look at trends. I can't tell you how often I've looked back in these books to see when things started happening... It's great to be able to access that history for doctors...
Potty training for any parent is a difficult process... that sometimes seem to take forever. With Vicki, it's one of the many things that ebbs and flows... that's kind of funny... flows... Anyway... I often wonder when I will be able to say that Vicki is officially potty trained. Eh. It's just a phrase. I look at that phrase and remember the countless hours that I've (and so many other people) have spent with Vicki in the bathroom, setting timers to go to the bathroom, washing clothes and cleaning up after the bathroom... And Vicki really has come so far. If you think about it... teaching a child that when you get 'that feeling' that you need to go to the bathroom. It's not an easy thing to master.
I hadn't meant for this post to become an all encompassing potty post. Sadly, I could write for hours about issues that we've had with toilet training. And I could talk for days on the subject, and seriously think I have. I have had more conversations revolve around pee and poop than I'd ever imagined I would have. But this morning I don't really want to launch into the potty training history realm.
Back to my original story... Most days, especially in the last 8 months or so, Vicki has had a really wet diaper in the mornings (enough to have to change the sheets almost every morning...) But yesterday morning, her diaper was dry. Woo hoo!! I know I've described our shower sequence in the mornings before, and I usually listen for her to pee or see her grabbing toilet paper, but sometimes Vicki is just sitting and sneakily flushes the toilet. And it's those times that I'm not really sure. So Vicki was sitting and sometimes she talks to herself.. kind of gives herself directions... She'll sit and say make yellow, make yellow. She's said that for years... one day during our intense potty training days, I had assigned a color to things... And because Vicki is very visual, she kind of latched on to the phrasing.. I think it's actually quite genius. :) So the question remained, did she make yellow? I thought about that all morning when she was at school... and was wondering if I'd get that call to drop off a new pair of shoes... I never got a call for that, thank goodness... So she must have made yellow... or she just has amazing bladder control, which I believe anyway... But I did get 2 calls from the school anyway... And yet again, I don't want to talk about that right now... I would much rather talk about pee. ;) Moving on.
Vicki was so adorable last night... It was a million little things that she did... My heart is still smiling.
Vicki was happy. The kind of happy that lights up her eyes. That little twinkle. I think it's a powerful thing to see in a child's eyes. It is a little slice of heaven to see that twinkle in Vicki's eyes.
Vicki was galloping across the living room floor last night. She was laughing. She was so free. Gosh, I love to see her like that. And I was sitting on the floor by the couch. Vicki was sitting on the couch behind me. She has this thing with feet lately. Especially my feet. Mommy feet. Mommy feet. She'll say. And I'll show her my foot and wiggle my toes and she'll squeal with happiness. She will literally stare at my feet, plop down beside me to get a closer look... fold herself in half with her head hanging off the couch just to see my feet. I joke with my husband that I need to get frequent pedicures because looking at my feet is so reinforcing to Vicki. I don't want to feel self-conscious and have icky looking toes. :) I'll say anything to justify a hour of relaxation at the salon. :)
As I was sitting on the floor beside her, Vicki reached out and started playing with my hair. I was pleasantly surprised. She doesn't usually offer a lot of contact... And she never plays with my hair. She just sat there, quietly sat there and stroked my hair. It felt so nice. Amazing really. She was so gentle and relaxed. I could even hear her hum to herself quietly, and repeat the words nice and gentle. Nice and gentle. We've used that phrase before when we would pet animals. We would take her hand in ours and hand over hand pet the animals with her and we would say 'nice and gentle.' She has taken to that phrase and sometimes when she is playing with her Layse Black Cat stuffed animal, I will see her stroking it's fur and hear her whisper nice and gentle. I was in heaven with my baby girl sitting so calmly behind me, her soft touch on my hair, her aura... so..... I can't find the word I am looking for. But it was one of those moments in time that you tuck away and keep in your heart forever. And bring it back out and remember when things seem so bleak and frustrating. I have this moment right now.
Vicki gave the BEST hugs last night at bedtime too. Real hugs. Not the fake, lean in and touch her head to our chest but doesn't use her arms to wrap around at all. That's the 'I have to' hug. I will comply but not like it. Last night she gave full on, arms squeeze more than a second hug. Ahhh.... again.... a hug like that from Vicki. Bliss. It really is. She was so fun. She was still happy and smiling. And with Vicki, when she is with you and engaged... it is like the best game of follow the leader you will ever play. We were dancing in her room at bedtime. And I would bust out some moves, and she would follow. I kicked my leg out, she kicked her leg out. We took turns spinning each other. She would lovingly gaze at my feet. :) These are the best kinds of times. I cherish these moments more than I can ever express.
Even though Vicki doesn't say a large volume of words in a day, the words she does say... they make an impact. (I could probably take a few cues from her. Ha ha... ) Clear and concise. Speaking from the heart. Nice and gentle.
The kiddos have an early dismissal from school today. What can I really accomplish in 4 hours... maybe I should just go get a pedicure and surprise Vicki. :)
xoxo
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