Day 10. Year 3.

I read an article today that featured Temple Grandin. (For those of you who don't know who she is, this is on her website www.templegrandin.com: Temple Grandin, Ph.D., is now the most accomplished and well-known adult with autism in the world. Dr. Grandin presently works as a Professor of Animal Science at Colorado State University. She also speaks around the world on both autism and cattle handling.)
A few years ago I went to a conference where she was the key note speaker. I met her afterward and, even though I felt silly at the time for doing it, I asked her to sign her book for me, Thinking in Pictures. So she did. And she signed it, 'To Vicki...' :) 

When I was reading this article, a few of her quotes struck a cord with me.

"I don’t like it when nine-year-olds walk up to me and they want to tell me about their autism. I want to hear about their science project or their history project or the art they’ve done. Things that they’ve done that they can turn into a career.”

“I would rather see a kid get fixated on something they can turn into a career rather than getting fixated on his autism,” she said.

Read more: http://www.autismsupportnetwork.com/news/children-autism-must-learn-work-3578933#ixzz2Q7ZD6MZk

It's odd to me how sad I got when I read that. I don't want to go too deep into this tonight, because frankly, I am exhausted. And I am not sure I want to tap into that section of my emotional lability right now. I know autism is a 'spectrum' disorder and the big quote out there that everybody hangs their hat on is, 'If you've met one child with autism, well, then you've met one child with autism.'

But to me when I read that first quote... I got a little jealous. I got a little jealous because I thought, 'gosh, what I would give for Vicki to walk up and talk to someone. And tell them anything.' Even if what Vicki told them was about autism. (And I will save this discussion for another post when I am not quite as exhausted... )  Regardless, whether Vicki could say anything or not, I agree with Dr. Grandin's quote. And I think it's interesting because when you look at autism, you may see the rigidity. The repetition. The one track that a child's mind may focus on. And you (and I don't mean you, I just can't figure out the right pronoun to use :)  )  may look at the child's obsessions as something that needs to be fixed and overcome. But then you see stories about that child who talked incessantly about Thomas the Train, who later was able to work with trains. etc.... etc...

So often, well, everyday really... I just try to get through the day... so often I just have to focus on the the here and now because looking into the future scares the crap out of me. And even though Vicki is only 10, she is already 10. And those dreaded words are being whispered in my ear... transition planning... functional life skills training.... And I don't want to think about it. And I don't want to talk about it. And I will save a lot of my emotions about this for another post.... 

Geeze... I didn't mean to write about all of this. All I really wanted to tell you tonight was a cute, fluffy little story.  But the cute, fluffy little story lends very directly into the discussion about the future, about Vicki's future. At least in my eyes. What is Vicki fixated on?

Vicki loves food. I mean REALLY loves food. She is obsessed with food- in any way, shape, or form. She loves to look at cookbooks, especially ones with beautiful pictures in it. She steals my Taste of Home magazine as soon as it comes in the mail. :)  She used to be obsessed with Man vs Food episodes on TV. She loves going out to eat.

There is nothing, and I mean nothing, better than watching Vicki enjoy food. It always reminds me of that movie Ratatouille. That little rat when he picks the mushroom and pairs it with the cheese and the lightening strikes it. Anyway... when you watch Vicki eat... it really is an experience. I have never seen anybody enjoy food like she does.

Vicki does not have a typical 10 year old child's food palate. She loves salads and vegeshables. :) She loves kiwi and asparagus. She loves good food.

And recently, she loves going shopping with us... perusing the fruit and vegeshable isles... picking up the fruit and smelling it. Over the last few months she has really gotten back into all things food. And I love it. When she is in the kitchen with me helping to prepare dinner,  or when she is baking, or when she is unloading bags from the grocery store... I love watching her. And lately, I've really enjoyed trying new recipes and buying more exotic foods to have in the house. (and by exotic foods I mean instead of canned green beans, I will buy a spaghetti squash.) Sometimes when I am at the store I will buy something just because I know it will light up Vicki's face when she sees it. And seeing Vicki's face light up because of a pineapple, well, I really can't describe it. It just makes my heart so happy. It makes me so happy to see Vicki engaging and loving things again, even if it is a cantaloupe or a pineapple or an avocado. She is with me. Right there with me. I can ask her all kinds of questions about that fruit and she will tell me. What color it is, if it is big or little, if it is soft or hard, if it is hot or cold.

And most recently... gosh, I really wish you could see this... She will come home after school and open the fridge... and if she sees new foods in the fridge, I get the best, best, best squeal of glee. And she will pick up that cantaloupe or butternut squash and she will smell it. And she will smile a little Vicki smile. And she will hold the fruit up in her hands away from her body high in the air. And she will smile at it. Every time I see her do this, I imagine a podium with a trophy on it. And music in the background with the angels singing 'ahhhhhh' and a spotlight shining brightly on Vicki and that beautiful cantaloupe. Seriously. It really is the best thing in the world to see. And I will never, ever look at fruits and vegashables again the same way. :)

I want to thank Vicki for reminding me how fun it is to cook and create and try new things. We don't always have to order pizza or have soup and chicken nuggets for dinner... When Vicki is in the kitchen all covered in flour stirring the dessert she is making... well, it's perfect. She is the masterpiece that my husband and I have created.

Stay tuned later this month... my wheels are spinning and I have an idea...

And tonight I will leave you with a quote from Ratatouille, that Gustov was one smart chef.

"You must not let anyone define your limits because of where you come from. Your only limit is your soul.”
xoxo