Day 8.

Wow. I really needed today. I don't think I realized how exhausted I was, until just a little while ago... Usually when it gets close to bedtime, I get excited. You know, because I am proud that I am a good and responsible parent, who gets her children to bed at a reasonable hour so they get enough sleep and are well rested, happy, thriving children. Who am I kidding... I love to have a little bit of quiet time with my hubby. :) But this week, I've been dreading bedtime. Because bedtime has been more like, 'lets keep an eye on the monitor and then as soon as i look away it's time to start the clean -up' time. Let me also say, that even though I've been up a lot during the night doing the laundry and got a lot of laundry done today, when I wash the sheets and comforters 2x each time, that has really cut into my 'normal' laundry. And let me tell you, I really don't like doing laundry. Gasp! I know, it's usually every mom's fun chore. :)  I really wish we had a our washing machine on the second floor, I dread carting the laundry up and down 2 flights of stairs. So what usually ends up happening is that I have a basket full of clean clothes, well, maybe 2, or 3, or 4 baskets of clean clothes that haven't been folded yet. And then we run out of something and I start rummaging through the baskets and dump the baskets out on my bed. I find the wrinkled clean piece of clothing and instead of folding everything and putting it away, I scoop it back up into the basket. I've honestly wondered how much time I waste moving clean clothes to and from baskets and piling them up. I'm pretty sure that's not efficient. Anyway, today I decided that the monster mountain of laundry (at least it was clean, right?) needed to be dealt with. So I dumped all of the baskets out onto my bed earlier today with the expectation that I would fold and put everything away while the kids were in school. Sure I would. So, tonight the laundry monster was piled high on my bed and geeze, I was really tired. I had sat with Vicki in the bathroom for what seemed like forever... I really wanted to make sure I didn't have to do the clean up routine tonight. And I feel so bad because she just sat there and said, 'I don't have to go. I don't have to go.' I really just wanted to reason with her and tell her, I don't know, just tell her.... She did a good job sitting and verbalizing so then I put her to bed. I went in and started tackling the monster mountain and then decided to go in and check on her. Naked already. So I took her back into the bathroom and had her sit for a little bit longer. I asked my husband to keep an eye on her for a minute. I don't honestly know what I meant to do... I think I went into our bedroom to get a few clean towels from the monster mountain. Next thing I know the phone was ringing and I was sleeping next to the monster mountain. My husband had peeked into the bedroom to see what was keeping me but didn't see me because the laundry monster mountain obstructed me from his view. So he called the house phone from his cell phone because he didn't know where I was. Wow. That was kind of strange. Have I said how much I adore my husband? He stayed in Vicki's room with her for about an hour and let me sleep. I think Vicki got pissed that someone was hanging out with her and she ended up falling asleep. I'm looking at the monitor right now and she looks like she's still sleeping. I'm cautiously optomistic but there is still a lot of night left..

Like I said, today was pretty darn good. I had some time to regroup and I lit some candles (to get some residual stink out, but also, just because candles are pretty and I like to look at the flame) on this rainy afternoon. Ally was 'top dog' for her kindergarten class today so she was riding high, because there is nothing better to my kindergartener than top dog day at school (top dog gets to be at the front of all the lines, lead calendar time and be the helper to any kid who has to go to the office or somewhere else in the school.) I love Ally's teacher, she knew it has been a hard week for her and there was nothing better to brighten her Friday than top dog. :P  Joey was in a good mood today too.. I had told him we were having family movie night tonight and that I was sure he'd love the new movie we got... (and he did). So we chilled out tonight, ordered pizza, ate it in the living room (big treat) AND watched Tangled. Everyone enjoyed their dinner and movie. Vicki was happy, she wore her pink bunny ears the whole afternoon. She even seemed to laugh at a few appropriate parts... such as the part where the thugs sing, she was laughing and stomping and having a great time.
She's got a dream! He's got a dream! They've got a dream! We've got a dream!
So our diff 'rences ain't really that extreme! We're one big team...!
Call us brutal --Sick --Sadistic -- And grotesquely optimistic
'Cause way down deep inside We've got a dream!She also started crying a little bit during the movie. I'm not sure if she reacted to something she saw or if she was just having a moment. :(

Vicki also did good today when the police officer came to the house. See, Vicki has Project Lifesaver. And a police officer comes to the house once a month to change the battery in it. Project Lifesaver is a tracking device that has a specific frequency which is emitted so if Vicki were to get lost or wander off, the police could track her. She wears it on her ankle 24/7. She's had it since she was 4. We cut the bracelet off once a month to change the battery and change the ankle that it's on. Not only has it been wonderful for my piece of mind, wait, peace of mind... :)  for me, but having the interaction with the police officer and seeing him in uniform in his police car, has hopefully helped Vicki, so somewhere deep down, she will realize that the police will keep her safe. It's also been good to get to know the officers and have them get to know Vicki. Anyway, I wasn't sure how Vicki would react today, because the officer was just here last week to change the battery and I know Vicki has a sense of time. He had to come back again tonight, because everyday I check the battery and make sure it's working. Today, I didn't get the red light that means it's good to go. And it amazes me how scared I get when that happens... My security blanket. I don't rest until the issue is resolved. Red light is blinking again. Phew. I thought since I was talking about Project Lifesaver, I would share with you a piece I wrote (when i was in the Partners in Policymaking class a few years ago) that I presented in a mock general assemby forum about the need for Project Lifesaver: 

I have 3 beautiful children: Joseph, Victoria, and Allyson. I am speaking to you today on behalf of Victoria, who has autism, to request legislation making Project Lifesaver a statewide program.  Project Lifesaver’s mission is to locate missing persons utilizing a rapid response system. Since 1999, the project has located and safely returned loved ones home in every one of the 1,458 searches it's been used in across the country.

June 30, 2006 is a day that I will never forget; a day I will replay in my mind forever. That was the day that Vicki, who had just turned 4, wandered out of our home and got lost.  When it happened, my 1 year old was upstairs sleeping, my 6 year old was in the living room playing ‘power rangers’ and Vicki was sitting near him, looking at her books.  At least, that’s where she was when I walked into the bathroom.  When I came out a couple minutes later, she wasn’t there.  While searching her usual hiding places, I moved a curtain aside and was horrified to see the window screen pushed out and a book on the ground outside.

I leaped out the window, no shoes on; Vicki didn’t have any on either… Dear God, please let the fence be closed. My heart sunk. The fence was open. Vicki was nowhere to be seen. I became frantic. My mind started racing.  My heart pounded, I was breathing erratically and felt like I was going to pass out. My first thought was to run and look for her; I ran out to the front yard but didn’t see her.  I looked up and down our busy street; she was nowhere to be seen.

I quickly decided that I’d get nowhere fast looking by myself.  I ran back inside and called 911.  I choked out that my daughter was lost, that she was nonverbal, and that she had autism. Police cars descended on our neighborhood.  It felt like an hour, but less than 15 minutes had passed.  I saw people talking out front and then I heard an officer said, ‘We got her. We got her’.

Amazingly, she was unhurt and safe. Someone had seen her on the road, grabbed her, threw her in the first open door he found and ran off.  The person in the house found Vicki playing with his dog. 

The very next day I investigated Project Lifesaver. We’ve had it ever since. The knowledge that the police know Vicki, Vicki knows them, and they can find her if something goes wrong; it’s priceless.  She managed to get her Project Lifesaver band off once since then.  Just seeing the band off made me feel like she was unprotected and vulnerable and brought back the same panic I had on that June day.  So, when my husband had a job opportunity in another county that did not have Project Lifesaver, we couldn’t move there.  We couldn’t jeopardize the safety of our daughter. We should not have to.  Every county in VA should provide Project Lifesaver.

In HOUSE JOINT RESOLUTION NO. 592 this body recognized Project Lifesaver as an outstanding program benefiting persons in need in the Commonwealth, yet the citizens in 38 Virginia counties still don’t have this benefit.  I encourage this legislature to make Project Lifesaver a statewide program and to give the first responders in every county this lifesaving tool.

So, that was a very abbreviated version of what prompted us to get Project Lifesaver. If you want more information on this program, here's their website. Also, I just briefly mentioned the Partners in Policymaking program I went through a few years ago. It's an amazing program: I learned so much, I grew so much, I brought back so much more knowledge. I felt empowered; I made lifelong friends. I wouldn't trade that experience for the world. I traveled to Richmond for one weekend every month for 9 months to go through their program. Here's their link too...

http://www.projectlifesaver.org/

http://www.partnersinpolicymaking.com/

It's amazing how one good day erases the memory of a few bad days... Tonight as Vicki was snuggling in her blankets at bedtime, she was humming the 'I have a dream' song from Tangled. I know you have big dreams Vicki! And I will do everything in my power to help you make them come true! Sweet dreams... xoxo