Day 22.

Another Day. Another pair of glasses. Sigh... I am very thankful for the replacement warranty; we get our money's worth out of it! I hope there's not a limit to the number of times I bring her glasses in to get replaced.
Vicki and glasses. Sometimes like oil and water. It's been a process, that's for sure. Just getting her into the eye doctor's office the first time was not the easiest of experiences. Dilating her eyes, not good. I remember one time, I can't remember why she needed eye drops, but we had to put them in her eyes twice a day. It was a few years ago and it was so bad, she fought us so hard, that she ended up with blood vessels bursting in her eyes. Just the idea of her going in for an eye exam scared me. She couldn't do a regular exam where you sit in the chair and they ask you what letters you can see. For one, she couldn't identify her letters with enough consistency to even be sure she knew the letters, let alone could see the correct letters. Vicki's been able to identify some alternate pictures, such as birthday cake or different shapes. But the last time she was at the eye doctor, she saw where the pictures were projecting from and we couldn't get her to look forward to answer the questions, she kept looking behind her to see the pictures. The eye doctor was able to get a decent reading by having Vicki look into a machine that projected a farm scene. She just has to stare at the farm and sit still long enough and not blink so they could take a picture. Easy, right? :) 

Once we had the prescription in hand the first time, I thought, phew, we did it. But it took almost a year to get her to wear her glasses consistently. We had a program we used to increase the length of time she had to wear her glasses, reinforcing her for keeping her glasses on for that entire period. It started at very short increments and she now wears them all day long. Just some days, depending on her mood, I need to watch her more closely with them. Especially if she gets angry about something, the poor glasses never have a chance. We've tried different types of frames, some 'unbreakable' ones. Yeah, not really unbreakable. Twistable. And if you twist it long enough and hard enough it will create a weak spot and snap. We were really excited when she first started wearing them consistently... she would say, 'clean glasses, please' when they were dirty. She no longer does that. :(  Phrases come and go. I hope that one comes back again soon. I liked her taking notice and seeing a cause and effect happening just by communicating.

The ladies at Wal Mart are wonderful. New glasses in less than 10 minutes. Vicki's so used to her glasses on now, that when she doesn't have them  she's constantly asking for them. I try to tell her that they are broken and need fixed. Well, things could always be worse. She only dropped them in the toilet once and flushed them. (Love our para at school - and was thankful for her lightening fast reflexes that day!) Pretty impressive.

Changing gears completely.

You know, with it being Good Friday, I've been thinking a lot about The Passion of Christ. What does it mean to be passionate? The dictionary defines passions as 'Any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling.' How can I live my life with passion? How can I assist my children in living their most passionate lives? 

When Japan's earthquake hit over a month ago, I remember sitting in front of the TV, watching the terrible scenes unfold in front of me. Seeing everyone suffering. Seeing the death and destruction. And feeling such sorrow. I remember thinking that I was so mad at myself, sitting in my warm and dry house, with clothes on my back, food in my refrigerator, clean water to drink, and my family safe and happy beside me. How could I complain about having to wash a set of sheets for Vicki's bed? Or grumble about having to get her glasses adjusted. Or one of the other millions of things that cross my mind daily. Little struggles and setbacks. Seem so trivial.

But you know what? Everyone has days when they have their own personal earthquakes. Cracks in the surface. Cracks beneath the surface. How do you hold it together? How do you keep that flood from washing you away? How we handle what we are given each day makes us who we are. How we bear the cross that we carry makes us who we are. Do we help other people carry their crosses? Do others help ease the burden for us? God has given me the greatest gift to allow me to hold Vicki's hand in this life; To give me a glimpse of the beauty and dignity that she displays in the face of autism. Vicki is not alone and will never be alone. Was I given Vicki so that I could guide her or so that she could guide me?

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6.