Day 11.

Let me talk to you for a few minutes as a mother. Not as a mother who has a child with autism. Just as a mother. Who has 3 kids. Who took said 3 kids to the mall today after school. Yep, insert groan here. :)  Have you ever seen the Brady Bunch Movie? "Put on your Sunday best kids; we're going to Sears!" Cue song on escalator...
I think I'll go for a walk outside now
the summer sun's callin my name
(i hear ya now)
i just can't stay inside all day
i gotta get out get me some of those rays
everybody's smilin
sunshine day
everybody's laughin
sunshine day(PS... you're welcome. Now you can hum that song all day...)

We don't go to the mall very often. :)  Therefore, it is definitely an 'event'. I have learned some things; and I haven't learned anything at all. I have learned for the most part, not to do this on a weekend, hence the after school time slot. Furthermore, I have learned that it is in our family's best interest if Daddy skips this. :P For those that know me well, or at all... know that I love to take pictures. And I love to look at pictures. And, apparently I love to torture both myself and my children with bi-annual 'professional' pictures. One of the greatest mysteries... why do I do it? When it's all said and done and pouted about, and cried about, and bribed about, and yelled about, I love the pictures.Well, actually, I love the idea of loving the pictures... most of the time I just wish they would have taken that shot of Ally pouting, Vicki looking away, and Joey directing the girls so much that it's him that we miss the shot because of.... (That's the picture that would tell the story of my kids...) And I love looking back over the years at the wonderful memories that we've created while getting those pictures taken. :)  That was sarcasm. But, seriously... it's actually not that bad. (I can say that now as I sit at the computer with a coffee in hand, and the kids all sleeping quietly.) I try to kill 2 birds with 1 stone...(Have you ever really thought about that saying?... that's actually quite mean. Hmmm.... Random thoughts at 1 in the morning...anyway...) The kids birthdays are about halfway to Christmas, so we usually go to the mall about now in the spring, get their birthday pictures taken and go and see the Easter Bunny. And then in December, we go to the mall for Christmas pictures and to see Santa.

One thing that I've learned is that it's way too stressful to do by myself, and my husband doesn't like to volunteer for this one, so I usually have one of Vicki's unsuspecting aides come with us. And I try to only take the same person one time, because (it's kind of like when we get an estimate for leaf removal at our house... they always underbid the job... so the next time we get some new unsuspecting sap to do it.... ). Just kidding. Kind of.... Another thing that I've learned is that although it can be very tricky with Vicki, (yet again with the rhyme...)  it's usually the youngest one, I won't mention names, that falls apart and just will not smile.... I'm pretty sure just to be difficult. And finally, the children must be fed at some point during this event, preferably after pictures, since greasy sbarro's pizza is usually their choice of fare.

I like to discuss with the photographer over the phone, what exactly she is getting herself into when we walk into the studio. And I have also learned to tell the photographer that I don't want to keep pushing for that shot - the one where are 3 kids are looking at the camera with their angelic smiles on their faces - because it ain't gonna happen. I feel like repeating the phrase that Ally tells me all the time, 'you get what you get, and you don't throw a fit.'  Thanks mommy! 

Today started off kind of iffy... I was actually on time,  well, early, in fact, by about 2 minutes! But, unfortunately, the store was short-staffed and they were running late. It always makes me nervous when we start out an event by waiting, autism or not, that's a hard thing to do. And with Vicki, sometimes it doesn't take much for something to go south very quickly. She asked for 'princess puzzles' again on my phone. I just kept praying that there would be no technological malfunction, or that might be the straw that breaks the camels back (I am just full of idioms tonight!). The wait seemed like an hour, but in reality was probably only 15 minutes or so. Vicki has been doing much better with professional pictures over the last couple of years. She doesn't usually smile directly into the camera, and it's usually a 'say cheese' type of smile... but sometimes when I am watching her, I think she is enjoying it. I've always wanted to put her in hair commercials. That was a random thought. Anyway... she gets pretty fidgety. And pretty spinny. And she tends to trip over the backdrops a lot. Tonight she kept backing up to the back of the backdrop and then leaning on it as if it were a wall. You'd think after the first time she did that, I'd react faster... Then there's the 3 kids in one picture fiasco. Vicki leans in close to Ally. I am never sure now if it's for a hug or for a push. Today it was a hug. And apparently, I used a lot of apple detangler in Ally's hair because Vicki kept smelling it. And Ally kept getting angry because Vicki kept touching her. And Joey tries to deescalate but only ends up adding another pair of hands to the mix. Sigh. And the taking of the pictures isn't always the worst part... it's the waiting afterwards to pick the pictures that I want and then waiting for them to print. Ally shared her markers and princess coloring pages with Vicki (thank you Ally!) as we waited tonight. We finished up just in time, there were no more coloring pages left by the end.

One thing I will say, is that it's kind of hard to reinforce the kids' good behavior after the appointment. Because, if I do something once, with Vicki, then the next time, according to her, we have to do the same thing again. So a nice treat this visit could turn into a nightmare the next time. I remember once we stopped at the cookie place because the kids did a really fabulous job. They all really enjoyed their cookies. The next time we came, they were not going to get cookies afterwards. Sometimes I am just amazed at the memory Vicki has. She remembered exactly what we did the last time and had a pretty significant tantrum because we were not getting cookies. In the middle of the mall, with people stepping around her, shooting me looks. Really people, do you need to look at me like that?
Joey and Ally were bummed and told me so. Vicki could not tell me so, so she showed me. Tantrum and all.

Tonight I was holding my breath. Another visit to the mall a while ago,  the kids split a slice of chocolate cake for dessert at sbarro's. And I could tell with Vicki tonight the exact moment she thought of that piece of chocolate cake. And I knew already that they didn't have any at this sbarro's because I had already thought of it and looked as we were going through the line. And I knew the exact moment she would throw herself down on the ground as we were holding her hands walking away. Tonight she didn't. Crisis averted. Phew.
So we got an Aunti Annie pretzle on the way out of the mall this time, even though I know I'll have to deal with that memory the next time we come to the mall.

Let me just tell you how much Vicki loves characters that are dressed up. She loves, loves, loves them. And she REALLY loves the Easter Bunny! It's great to see her face light up when she runs up to him. And the poor unsuspecting Bunny, he has no idea that she is gearing up to pounce on his lap. :P   She loves to pet the bunny's fur and she was especially excited tonight because the bunny gave her a high five as she was leaving. I have to hand it to those characters, they are good. Once, during a visit with Santa, Vicki tried to take off his white gloves. :P  And, I remember, one of the best experiences we had was at the Children's Museum during Christmas. The snow princess was there with Santa. She was so beautiful with her white ball gown on and glass slipper and had her pretty crown arranged nicely on her head. Vicki kind of really loves princesses. And this was at the height of her princess mania. Before my husband or I could react, it was like octopus Vicki arms with the princess. I think Vicki simultaneously bent down and tried to take the princess' shoe off and also was stroking her hair. The princess gently readjusted and kept smiling down and Vicki, talking to her. 'Oh, do you like my shoes Vicki (you had to tell them your name so Santa could call you down...)? See my crown sparkle.' The princess didn't miss a beat and she made it such a beautiful, memorable experience for Vicki.

So, to finish up our 'fun' evening at the mall... I would like to give a shout out to Alton from Costco. And, again, to my wonderful husband who, even though got to skip the mall part, had to join us to change our flat tire. Luckily, I didn't get very far from the mall when I realized that the thump, thump, thump I heard was not a good beat to a song... I called my husband first, and then called costco to see how long they were open... we were just across the way from them. Apparently, I sounded pitiful. Maybe it was because when he asked me what kind of tire blew out, I said, it was black and round. :)  Maybe it's because he could hear my kids and madagascar in the background (silent prayer to thank the portable dvd makers). Or maybe it was because he was just a really nice guy. He said he was going to check and make sure our tire was in stock, and yes, i did figure out, with Alton's help, what type of tire it was... and then I see this guy walking across the road right towards us about 10 minutes later. He sat with me and started jacking up my van while we were waiting for my husband. Thank you Daddy. Thank you Alton (and Costco, for hiring such a wonderful employee). Thank you Easter Bunny. Bawk. Bawk.