Day 5.

It's been a draining few days. And after getting about 3 hours of sleep last night... I decided that I needed to rest, regroup, and recharge. Sometimes what it takes for me is to just change gears a little bit and take a step back. And what better way to do that than to chaperone my favorite little kindergartner's field trip to a dinner theater to see Annie. :)  After a stormy start to the early morning, the evening brought with it a little bit of sun peeking through some fluffy clouds. How apropos. I love that word, not sure if I used it in the right context... but still fun to say.
Anyway. No texts or calls from the school today while I was on the field trip. That was a relief! I just got to sit back and enjoy the day. Not sure if that's how most people would describe spending the day with 24 excited little ones, but I would.  The teachers and support staff are great at school. Every year as Joey. and now Ally. have new teachers, Vicki's teacher always makes sure to talk to them at the start of the school year. She stays in contact with them throughout the year, because autism does not just affect the child that is labeled with it, and I know I've touched on this before, but siblings are very much affected as well. The things that Joey and Ally have seen and have been through - the way their home life is structured, everything... it all adds up and they need support too. I think I sidetracked myself somewhere... so Ally's teacher in particular this year has invited me into the classroom and encouraged me to volunteer and go on field trips as much as I can with their class. It's like they just know how much I need that sometimes... and today couldn't have come at a better time. :)  I was very glad it was a quiet field trip... I was having a bit of anxiety this morning thinking back to the last field trip I went on... I went to the pumpkin patch with Ally's class in the fall... my first time as a chaperone, ever... And it was so bad that morning at school drop off... Vicki is an extremely smart, observant little girl. I am convinced that she realized something was different, maybe because I actually showered and put jeans on before I drove them to school. Maybe it's because I was actually wearing makeup. Maybe she was feeding off of the excitement that I had... who knows. All i know is that i almost didn't make that field trip. Vicki wouldn't get out of our car at drop off in the morning. I had gotten to school a few minutes earlier than I usually do, and I was planning on parking, drinking my coffee and leisurely packing up my backpack with a few essentials for the field trip. That didn't happen. I ended up sitting in the car hoping that Vicki's para could get her out of the car to get inside. We had had a few days like this, but never for this long. We had worked out a system... where I would pull the van forward, get out with my keys and say goodbye to Vicki and walk around the side of the building. So, I was freaking out standing behind the building, wondering if I would make it to get on the bus... And the wonderful staff pulled through for me again... I didn't go back to my van to get anything at all, and I gave my keys to one of the paraprofessionals. Ally's teacher was aware of the situation -so she was expecting an out of breath, overly stressed mommy to walk in the door... There was less than 5 minutes before we had to get on the bus, and I finally heard Vicki walking down the hall with her teacher. Relief flooded through me. No more than 2 minutes later did one of the paras come in with my backpack, packed neatly with some of the items i left on the front seat.. a water bottle, an apple, a granola bar, my camera (with a new battery put in) and gave me my van keys and a hug. She had parked my van and filled up my backpack for me. These teachers choose to do this everyday. Not only do they work with my daughter everyday, but they work with me everyday. And that.... I'm not sure, just hypothesizing, can be just as challenging.
I don't have a whole lot more in me tonight, but let me tell you about one of the zillion things I love about Vicki. Vicki loves food. Vicki loves to eat food, to look at books about food, to watch tv shows about food ** oh, yeah... we all love man v food. (And I think it might be a long term family goal of ours to go everywhere that Adam goes.) Vicki loves to peek in the shopping bags I bring home and put away the food. She loves to help prepare the food. She loves food. And one of the great things about food is that it can really bring out language. Interactive language. Appropriate language. We talk about the colors of food, about the categories of food, we're learning how to measure the food. We describe the food. We follow the directions to prepare the food. (I especially love the recipes that have simple pictures of each ingredient listed... so she can actually 'read' the recipe to me... ) How many eggs do we need Vicki? Free. Free eggs. 1.2.Free. And she puts up three fingers. Anyway, I guess one of the down sides to her loving food so much is that when she gets a new cookbook from the library, especially if it's a dessert cookbook... she wants to make everything. And she wants to make it NOW!!!  A very typical scenero... Vicki finds a page in her cookbook that she is especially fond of. She'll take the cookbook out to the kitchen counter, slam it down with authority and demand that we make the food. And one of the things I love about it, is that she has to realize that we can't always do what she wants every time she wants it. A hard lesson for any kid to learn. So she tries to communicate to me pulling whatever words she can find to tell me. And if I say no, she'll find a different way to say it. Now they might not all be complete sentences... but we are working on it. For example.. she just got the cookbook, "What's new, cupcake?"  Have you seen it? It's super cute! Anyway, she REALLY wants to make the hounddog cupcakes. And I mean REALLY wants to make them. Tonight, she opened to that page, and i'm paraphrasing a little... but the conversation went something like this:
V:  doggie cupcakes, YES!
Me: Not right now.
V: Not right now. Later.
V: 10 minutes then cupcakes.
Me: No. Not tonight. We can...., or..... . No cupcakes.
V: walks over to  the side of the refrigerator where I keep her timer... picks up her timer and then says YES. 10 minutes then doggie cupcakes. Brown.
Me: Good job asking, but no. Not tonight.
V: opens to the next page... and this is a first ---- points to an ingredient and says, SUGAR. Yep. It actually was sugar.
Me: Wow. Great job Vicki! That is sugar. But no cupcakes tonight. **  an man o man did I want to be able to make them with her at that moment... But we still had the 'easter bunny cupcakes, eggs' that we made last friday. So we compromised. :P 
It seems strange for me to change topics completely from chocolate cupcakes to poop. Insert ewwww here.. If you would have asked me 10 years ago what a popular topic of mine would be, poop would not have been on the top of my list. But I seriously talk about and write about poop more that I ever thought i would. So at bedtime tonight, I got a little paranoid. Vicki said 'i don't need to go'. So I left her go with that. But then 30 mintues after she went to bed, I went in to check on her and she was naked already. Got her up and went to the bathroom. She pooped. Success. Maybe that should hold her for tonight... But I'm thinking I should do a smell test right about now again even though my eyes have been darting to the monitor the whole time I've been typing. But sometimes it's hard to see shadows at night. Here's hoping for a lysol free night and a wonderful tomorrow!

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!

Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!

When I'm stuck with a day
That's gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh!

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You're only a day Away!