I skipped ahead to today's post (will go back later to the last 2 days). The reason for this is that I am very emotional right now and I have a lot I just want to write down.
For today, let's pretend that I am just writing a note to myself. It might not make a lot of sense. But I don't understand things, and if they made sense to me already, I wouldn't feel like I had to figure it out. I know I've said this more than once. But... I will say it again. I really, really wish I could take Vicki to see Dr. House. (Remember that show?) Sigh. There are just so many things going on with her medically. I don't understand. And I feel like there should be an answer. Something that we are missing. Something that we have all overlooked. I just want my baby to feel better.
On my personal facebook page I wrote a lot the past few weeks about a gut feeling I had. Vic was crying so much.... more than usual. She was crying about 15 times a day. Like, pained cries. So, we talked to our developmental pediatrician and based off of some of the concerns and symptoms she was having, he referred us to a pediatric GI guy. Just to recap. We loved him. His bedside manner was fantastic, he didn't make me feel stupid or dismiss my concerns and he was very good with Vicki. After taking a belly x-ray, he determined that she needed to be flushed out (which surprised me, because she goes every night.) Without giving you too much information... we kept her home for 3 days. I think it was a little better, but not crazy different. Although she wasn't crying quite as much, so that was good. After that we started her on a daily laxative the doctor prescribed. And then she had her sedated upper endoscopy. The doctor found evidence at the base of the esophagus and entrance to the stomach of gastric reflux. Everything else came back normal. So he started her on a daily medicine for that. I thought things were going in the right direction medically. At least I was hopeful.
But this am as I was showering with her (which I've had to do for the last 3 years)... it was the same kind of thing that happened about a month ago... and a month before that.... Part of what lead us to the GI doctor in the first place. In the shower, her back was to me... at first I thought she was playing.. just swaying back and forth... but then I realized she was getting ready to faint? Maybe. I grabbed her by her hair because that's all I could catch (she was slippy wet) and turned her towards me. She looked white as a ghost and her lips were really, really pale. A very odd color. She was breathing a bit odd and I thought she was going down. I screamed for my husband, he's home for spring break..thank goodness.He came running. He held her up while I got dressed and she threw up in the shower. 2x. But there wasn't much that came up at all... (sorry, tmi again) no chunks at all of food just a little pale yellow and a bit of mucus. She had asked for water before she got in the shower a few times... a little odd in and of itself. . Anyway, while all of this was happening, my husband looked at her eyes and they were completely dilated. We even turned the bright lights on in the bathroom and no reaction. After she got out and sat down for a minute or 2, her color slowly started to return and eventually her eyes returned to normal.
I really don't know what the hell this is. It's scaring me. 3 times in the last 3 months that she's almost passed out while in the shower and threw up. It just doesn't make sense to me. Could she be having an odd kind of seizure? And it's only the few times in the shower, the rest of the day she doesn't throw up. She eats. She drinks. She's acting strange a bit, but she looks better the rest of the day.
So, please if you know Dr. House... can you see if he can see Vicki? ;) I'm kidding, of course. But I really don't know what to do. I just get this feeling that there is still something very wrong and that we are not getting to it. I have contacted Vicki's team of doctors. We'll see what they say now.
Thanks for listening. I'm sorry I'm not witty or funny tonight. I'm just scared for my baby. xo
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