Day 3. Year 4.

You will have to forgive me tonight... I am doing a little Throwback Thursday stroll down memory lane. I was looking for a document in the deep space of my computer tonight.... and of course I never found the document I was looking for. But I found so much more. I've spent the last hour reading over notes I wrote years ago, looking at pictures from when the kids were little, and just taking a little time to think about time. And what it means. I wanted to share with you an excerpt from one of my first 'Autism Notes' that I wrote... I used to email them to close family and friends years ago. It was like my year in review for Vicki. 

                                                 

"........ Vicki has worked really hard this year. She went from being essentially non-verbal to having such phrases as "I want ----" She has picked up a lot of labels - food items are very motivating to her - so she will say "I want chicken, I want chocolate, I want cake, I want watermelon." She is beginning to use phrases to tell us where she wants to go, which is usually "I want outside, I want go, Open please." Having some labels in her repertoire has really helped her be able to communicate some of her basic wants and needs. Her frustration level is high though- although she has a few phrases; it is still not enough for her. I can't imagine not being able to communicate. She screams and cries a lot. It's very hard to figure out why sometimes. I'm sure all of you who are parents remember the relief you felt when your little ones could tell you that their belly hurt, or their ear hurt, or they were sad because someone hurt their feelings. As a parent, it’s quite a milestone to have your child be able to tell you what or why. Vicki still is not able to do that, so as I hold her, with tears streaming down her face, all I can do is comfort her and try to keep from crying myself......
She has a strong sense of self, and is very strong willed - she wants what she wants when she wants it!! She will be 5 years old next month....." And at the end of my note, I quoted a saying (I'm not sure where it's from now though). 

"When you dream alone it is only a dream, but when you dream together it is the beginning of reality." 

...."It's so important to have a dream for Vicki, and for Vicki to eventually have a dream for herself. We don't want to just settle, we want her to have a chance to achieve her dreams."

I wrote that over 7 years ago. A lot has changed since then, and a lot has remained the same. 

It's bittersweet in a way. I have so much more to say about this, about where she has been, and where she is going, and about our hopes and dreams for Vicki, but I can barely keep my eyes open right now. I guess I shouldn't have spent so much time going through pictures and notes... But, then again, maybe that's exactly what I needed to be doing. I read a little post today that circulates on Facebook every once in a while  ... a feel good story about how we make our own happiness.

" Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away--jut for this time in my life.  You see, old age is like a bank account.  You withdraw from what you've put in.  So, my advice always...welcome each day as a God given gift.  You have more and more to look forward to, and you'll deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories."

I think that's a very cool way to look at life. I was just perusing my bank account tonight and realized just how rich I really am. xoxo