Gosh. Where do I start tonight? I think I will just start with today. That works for me. And today I want to talk about patience. Patience is not something that I have an abundant supply of. I would really like to have a never-ending supply of it, but deep down I get so impatient sometimes. And today tested my patience a little bit. And some of the things are so trivial. So silly to be impatient about. Like... I picked today to get our oil changed in our van. It seems that everyone else in the tri-state area also decided to get their oil changed as well. You would think it was a holiday weekend or something. ;) Anyway, I bounced around this am looking for that place that would get me in and out in under an hour. I think I wasted more time looking for one than just decided to go with one. Finally I decided to try to multi-task. I thought... might as well go to Wal-Mart and wait for 3 hours... I have some shopping I had to do anyway, and I really wanted to get a pedicure before we head out for Spring Break. So I stopped at the library to get a book to read so I wouldn't be too impatient while I was waiting. When I went to get my pedicure, the guy told me to sit down in the chair and he got the water ready to soak my feet. An hour and 20 minutes later, with my feet all pruney and cold, I was having a hard time concentrating on my book and kept looking at the time on my phone. I was trying hard not to send dirty looks to the employee... but oh my goodness, my butt was falling asleep from sitting so long and he hadn't even started my pedicure yet. ;) Yes, I told you. Silly problems. Anyway... it all worked out. I went into Wal-Mart at 10:45 and left around 2:15. In the span of 3.5 hours I got the oil changed in our van and a pretty pink pedicure, and I got everything I needed to buy. So, really, it wasn't 3.5 hours wasted. I'm not sure why I am babbling about all of this. I'm sure it's trying your patience and wasting your time right now. But, I guess what I am trying to say is that it's hard to wait. It's hard to be patient. A skill I haven't mastered yet. I try to stay polite and not be ugly to people. Everybody's time is important.
Tonight my husband and I had to go to a meeting with the new providers we have for Vicki's ABA services. I really dread meetings. It doesn't matter what kind they are. They try my patience and sometimes I feel like they waste my time. My precious time. After years and years of meetings and going over goals and progress and behaviors and etc... etc... I have to admit, sometimes it gets old. Even though we may be meeting with new people. The general vibe of the meeting is very old. I get so tired on talking. I get tired of talking about goals and problems and behaviors and blah, blah, blah. I get tired of filling out those forms that say, 'sometimes, always, never, maybe, could be, possibly, not applicable, blah, blah, blah. (I feel like the main character from Hotel Transylvania... blah, blah, blah... I hope someone got that reference!) Anyway... I do understand the importance of good communication and everybody being on the same page and the importance of working towards goals and setting plans in place. I understand all of it. I really do. I just get so impatient sometimes. I just want to say, 'ok. got it. now how can you help us with.....' or, Can you show much how to implement this? Like really how to implement it. I understand what it looks like on paper. i understand that your goal is to .... 80 percent of the time... blah, blah, blah. But HOW? How to we gt from point A to point B when you have intersect xyz, and Joey and Ally and dinner, and this time constraint, and this safety concern.... I don't want to start out with compliance for something Vicki is just about ready to do anyway. I do understand that's how it works though. I am just impatient. I want you to tell me right now how I can get Vicki to eat her yogurt in under an hour. I want you to tell me right now how Vicki can finish her dinner in under and hour and a half. I want you to tell me how to get Vicki from yelling the same movie title over and over again for upwards of an hour. I have lots of great goals on paper. And I know you have to start small. And you have to collect data. But, it's so hard to ease into something. I don't like to do that. When I get into a pool, I don't like wading in and getting a little piece of my body wet at a time. It takes to long to get used to the water that way for me. I just like to dive right in, get it all done in a second. And then it's done and you acclimate. Anyway... thanks for listening. I am trying to work on patience. It's definitely a virtue I could use a little help with. I did come away with new oil for our van, new polish for my toes, new foods to cook and clothes to wear for our trip, and new papers to file with shiny new goals and plans to follow today. You have to start with a fresh coat of paint every once in a while. I just want to hang a wet paint sign up. I wonder how long til it dries and we can use it? xoxo
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