This was Ally's first official modeling job, walking the runway in a multi-designer fashion show. Of course, we all wanted to be there to support Ally. When the kids were little, we tried our best to do everything as a family and to give the kids as 'normal' of a childhood as we could. We did ok for a while. But then it got really hard. Around the time Vicki was diagnosed with PANDAs and her transition anxiety became more prevalent {especially in getting into and out of the car} we started splitting up activities more. Mark would take the kids to their activities and I would stay home with Vicki. Sometimes it was just easier that way. But we all missed spending time together, we are a pretty close-knit family. Anyway, when Mark was home on the weekends it was a little easier, but trying to get the kids to their activities during the week was almost next to impossible. Thankfully we have a wonderful support system of friends who stepped up to help out. But it's really hard to ask for help. And it was hard to miss practices or be late for practices. No matter how good the plan was, things never quite go as planned, right? Eventually, I noticed that the kids weren't joining as many clubs or activities, and they weren't asking to do as many things. And that breaks my heart. My kiddos saw how difficult it was, and tried to lighten the load. Fast forward to this year. With Joe going off to college, and Ally being home-bound for school with her medical issues, it became really important to us to not isolate her even more. So when Ally became really serious about wanting to model, we were going to do everything we could to make sure she was able to get to whatever activity she needed to... whether it be a casting call, a fitting, or a photo shoot. So.... the fashion show this past weekend.....
I have a habit of looking at a specific situation and thinking of all of the possible things that could go wrong. Some may call me pessimistic. I call myself proactive. Because one of the things autism has taught me over the years is that you can have the best laid out plan, and it can still go wrong. The worst case situation? You better damn well plan for it. So we try to. The tickets to attend the fashion show were very costly. And we were going to buy 5 tickets - one for Mark, one for Joe, one for Vicki, one for me, and one for an aide for Vicki. When I called to order the tickets for the show, I spoke with the coordinator. I asked her a little bit about the timing of the event, what would happen when. And I asked her about the layout of the tables and such. We talked for some time as I explained that my daughter has autism and sometimes things are very difficult for her. We wanted her to be a part of this special day for Ally, but also didn't want to disrupt the event in any way. She was so kind and asked many questions. She explained the timing of the events that day and said she would check on a few other things and call me back if she could or just meet up with me the night before at the walkthrough at the venue so I could see how things were set up.
We were 10 minutes late to the rehearsal the night before, not because of autism this time, but because of stupid traffic. Oh northern VA traffic! The coordinator met up with me as promised, and immediately grabbed onto my hand and held it as we talked. It was a sweet gesture. She showed me around a bit, and then told me that one of her immediate family members had a disability and remembered how difficult it was to go places and do things together. And then she told me that she got us the 5 tickets at an empty table right by the back door so if we had to take Vicki out, it wouldn't be very noticeable. And then to my complete shock, she told me that she got the 5 tickets donated to us!!!! I was so taken aback by such a generous gesture. I actually let a few tears slip down my cheek. This was not something I expected or asked for. I simply wanted to plan for the worst, and Mark and I knew that we might be wasting a lot of money if some of us had to leave with Vicki, or if Vicki couldn't overcome her anxiety to get in in the first place. But that was a risk we were ready to assume. And this wonderful lady just made the monetary burden disappear.
The next morning of the fashion show she found me and grabbed my hand again and said she was so happy to have us there. We hadn't brought Vicki in yet, and she told me to find her when Vicki came in so she could meet her and hand us the tickets and seat us. We did. And she did. She was very busy that day making sure the event went as planned. And not only did she take time out to focus on our family, but she also did it with a gentle smile and such kindness. I will never forget her gesture. And with the support of wonderful, kind people like that, and the support of our aide for Vicki, and being together as a family, we made it. We were able to enjoy Ally's fashion show together. With layse black cat, Mark's ability to calm her down and "squishy" Vicki {as she says when she needs some deep pressure and input}, oh, and the amazing chicken meal that was served, along with THE best cheesecake I've ever eaten.... We made it. It helped that Vicki could focus on each of the courses, the salad, the meal, the cheesecake dessert {and quite possibly another slice of cheesecake from the plate that wasn't used next to us} during the part of the program where there was a lot of talking. We were even able to get Vicki outside and meet up with Ally to take some pictures.
Just as a quick aside, I want to talk about Ally and Vicki's relationship in more detail, but I want to get this posted so I will save for next time. I also want to share the not so great moments from that day, the totter. But this was just too good of a story to end on. No reason for any sadness today. I hope everyone gets to experience the kindness of humanity today. Whether it's a grand gesture, like this coordinator of the fashion show demonstrated, or a smaller gesture, a smile, or someone holding the door. Showing kindness and empathy to others, it makes such a difference in this world. Much love to you all. xoxo
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