Better late than never, right? ;) I've tried to sit down and write a few times, but, crazy as it seems, I feel like I've been even busier the last few weeks than usual. I typically have a lot of meetings for Vicki anyway, but it seems like they have quadrupled lately, and I feel like I'm zooming from 1 to the other. (See the play on words there? Ha.) Technology is so amazing and so frustrating at the same time. And with Vicki turning 18 in a few weeks, we've had a ton of other things to take care of (a future blog post for sure).
Back to my Part 2. If I can remember where I left off... I was talking about decisions and how 1 decision can affect so many other aspects of your life. BTW, thank you for the sweet, positive comments about Ally and her modeling. It is much appreciated, and the support you show for her as well, we are grateful for.
One of the things I've learned about modeling this last year... it's not just a cute side hobby for Ally. She is very serious about it and treats it very much like the career path she wants to take with it. She's dedicated, professional, and very committed to improving her craft. It's not just "smile, say cheese." There is so much to learn, to study, to promote, to improve upon. She's invested, and she is constantly putting herself out there.
And this is where it gets a little tricky. Those that have followed Vicki's journey for a while, remember that she's always had difficulty with transitions. And back in 2012 (seriously!!! that long ago???) she was also diagnosed with PANDAS. We thought at the time autism was difficult. Autism was a walk in the park compared to the struggles that PANDAS brought. Sorry. I need to take a second. I just feel like I was gut-punched. Thinking that it's been 8 years. 8 years. 8 years since so much more started changing for us. And it's been since 2015 (so, 5 years!!) since I've been able to take Vicki somewhere in the car by myself. Pretty much 5 years now that the only way we can get Vicki in and out of the car is if my husband is there. Do you know how scary that is for me? It's terrifying. When he has to travel for work... there are so many 'what ifs' that seem so far-fetched, but I need to be prepared for them and plan for them. Sorry, I digressed a bit... Squirrel!
Anyway, this all relates to Ally and her modeling. For years, Ally has had to deal with things that a lot of her peers never had to think about... Simple things, like jumping in the car for a spur of the moment trip to the store or out for ice cream. A friend asking Ally to come over and hang out. Soccer practice. A dance at school. Going to a girl scout meeting or an activity. Going to guitar lessons. None of it was easy. And a lot of the times she wouldn't even ask because she knew it would be difficult to plan for and might not be able to go. We've had an amazing support system over the years tho, friends that went above and beyond to make sure Ally was included in things. And I had to finally swallow my pride and ask for help. Some things we were able to keep going with much help, other things people made exceptions for and worked around our home life ( ie.. Ally's guitar teacher came to our house to give her lessons) and some things Ally ended up quitting. If my husband was at work late, and we didn't have an attendant at home for Vicki, there was no way we could leave the house. Period.
So... fast forward to Ally starting to model. One of the things Ally loves about modeling is the social aspect of it. Making connections. Meeting new people. Planning. Rehearsals. The hustle and bustle of long show days where a make-up call time is at 8 am, and the show doesn't start until 6 pm. And, obviously, because Ally is a minor, I need to accompany her everywhere and be there for all of it. That poses some very unique challenges. And that's where I sometimes just stop, and think, how is it possible that people come into our lives just when we need them??
Right about the time Ally started getting booked for fashion shows and photoshoots, she was also given an awesome opportunity to go to Texas for a modeling expo where she could attend seminars, learn from others in the industry, and participate in events and competitions. Gosh, how I wanted her to be able to go and experience all of it. But, we put it out of our minds. I can't take Ally out of our house at all unless I have an aide scheduled and everything is lined up for Vicki. Vicki won't get out of bed unless I get her. So, a week in Texas... there was no way I could be in 2 places at once. Doesn't every parent wish they could at 1 time or another?! As I sadly thought about how difficult it would be logistically to do anything with Ally to foster her love of modeling... I get a text from an aide that used to work with Vicki. Throughout her college years and beyond she was a staple at our house. Even after she moved across the country, she was still a part of our lives. We were thrilled a few years ago when she moved back to VA, and she was able to come and see us from time to time. She had started working with Vicki right around the time Vic was diagnosed with PANDAS, so she's been through a lot with us. Making a long story somewhat short, the timing of her text was pretty much perfect. Over the course of a few months, she had moved back home and was free to work with Vicki. I had joked with her about the timing and how perfect it was and that she needed to road trip with us to Texas to be with Vicki so Ally could attend her modeling event. Vicki was comfortable with her because we've known her for years. And right around that time my husband took a job for a different company and he started working from home. After 18 years of commuting on I95, he was working from home. So he was able to drive us all down to Texas and work out of the hotel room for that week, while our aide and Joe helped with Vicki and I was free to be there for Ally and her events. Now, even with that, every day took massive amounts of planning and the whole team of us to make sure everything that Vicki needed from each specific person to function was accounted for. We did it. Vic got to have the hotel breakfasts that she loves and Ally got to network and participate in an event that she never thought she would be able to do. (And as a bonus, she won best in runway for her age group, whoop! whoop!).
Almost a year later and that same aide is still with us (although I know that will change very soon, and that will be another huge bump in the road for all of us). But I am not dwelling on that yet. Right now I am just grateful for the experiences having aides that have been able to be there for Vicki when I am not able to be, that have opened up for Ally. We've had other weekends of fashion shows and photoshoots that we've been able to attend because of our aide's availability and dedication to Vicki. And planning. Lots and lots of planning.
Before I get distracted again, I will stop here and talk about Vicki's response to Ally's modeling in Part 3. Love you all. Here's to trying to *time* my posts a bit better. Looks like I will be writing into May. :) Thanks for listening. xoxo
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